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HAGGIS -

1 sheep's paunch
1 sheep heart, liver, and lung
white and cayenne pepper
1 lb. beef suet
1/8 tsp. nutmeg
2 unions, chopped
2 cups pinhead oatmeal
3/4 pint beef stock
fine string

Clean the paunch thoroughly in warm water.  Turn it inside out and scald it, then scrape the surface with a knife.  While you are doing this, put the windpipe over a pot, draining it into another recepticle.  Chop the meat extremely fine; grate the liver.   Thoroughly mix the chopped meat with the spices, oatmeal, onion, and suet.  Combine mixture with beef stock and stuff it into the paunch. Use a fine string and trussing needle to sew the ends of the paunch; prick a small hole through the haggis.  Place the haggis into a pan of boiling water. Cover the pan and cook for about 3 hours, adding more boiling water when necessary to keep the haggis covered.

(NOTE: the oatmeal will enlarge as it absorbs the liquid so leave some extra room)

TURDUCKEN -

INGREDIENTS:
3 pounds whole chicken, boned
salt and pepper to taste
Creole seasoning to taste
1 (4 pound) duck, boned
16 pounds turkey, boned

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Lay the boned chicken skin-side down on a platter and season liberally with salt, pepper and Creole seasoning. Lay the boned duck skin-side down on top of the chicken and season liberally with salt, pepper and Creole seasoning. Cover and refrigerate.
Lay the boned turkey skin-side down on a flat surface. Cover with a layer of cold Sausage and Oyster Dressing and push the dressing into the leg and wing cavities so they will look as if they still have bones in them.
Lay the duck on top of the turkey skin-side down and cover it with a layer of cold dressing. Lay the chicken on top of the duck skin-side down and cover it with a layer of cold dressing.
With the help of an assistant, bring the edges of the turkey skin up and fasten them together with toothpicks. Use the kitchen string to lace around the toothpicks to help hold the stuffed turkey together. Carefully place the turducken, breast up in a large roasting pan.
Roast covered for 4 hours or until the turducken is golden brown. Continue to roast uncovered for 1 hour or until a meat thermometer inserted through the thigh registers 180 degrees F. and a thermometer inserted through the stuffing registers 165 degrees F. Check the turducken every few hours to baste and remove excess liquid. There will be enough pan juices for a gallon of gravy. Carve and serve.

Recipe by Stephanie
ALLRECIPES.COM

HAITIAN ZOMBIE -

one fresh, nearly deceased human
assorted human bones
various reptiles
one sea worm
one large toad
1/2 tsp. graveyard soil
1/8 tsp. ash from a black rooster's feather
4 slices Swiss cheese
one centipede
one haitian blow-fish (for flavor)

grind all solid ingredients (save the human) individually by using either a food grinder or morter and pestle. Do not attempt to debone the ingredients. Mix over an open flame. Cover the mixture and broil for 3 hours on high heat, stirring occasionally. Remove, cool to room temperature, and serve to human-being through inhalation.  Mixture should send human into shock and rigor. Exhume the night of the burial.

NOTE: recipe for zombie does not work if bodily preservatives are used.

INVOCATION OF THE WATCHER -

chalk
new bread
pine resin
the grass olieribos
the sword of the watcher (with his sigil engraved thereupon)
copper dagger of inanna

First, a sacrifice must be made within 24 hours of the invocation. Draw on the floor a chalk circle with the Sibil of the Watcher inside. Take a new and empty bowl, and enscribe it with the carven signs of the rock of your initiation. PENMANSHIP COUNTS!  Burn the bread, resin, and grass in the bowl as a sacrifice. Remember to keep your Sword of the Watcher at hand, as he will inhabit it until the time of the calling. After the sacrifice is completed, raise the dagger of Inanna and declaim the invocation in a clear voice:

IA MASS SSARATU!
I conjure thee by the Fire of Girra
The veils of Sunken Varloorni,
and by the Lights of SHAMMASH.
I call thee here, before me, in visible shadow
In beholdable form, to watch and protect this sacred circle, this Holy Gate of (N.)
May he of the name unspeakable, the number unknowable,
whom no man hath seen at any time,
whom no geometer measureth
whom no wizard hath ever called
CALL THEE HERE NOW!
Rise up, by ANU I summon thee!
Rise up, by ENLIL I summon thee!
Rise up, by ENKI I summon thee!
Cease to be the Sleeper of EGURRA.
Cease to lie unwaking beneath the mountains of KUR.
Rise up, from the pits of ancient holocausts!
Rise up, from the old abyss of NARR MARRATU!
Come, by ANU!
Come, by ENLIL!
Come, by ENKI!

Now, the watcher will come and stand outside of the circle until he is given license to depart by striking the hilt of the sword with your left hand and saying:

BARRA MASS SSARATU! BARRA!

NOTE: Thou mayest not depart thine sacred precincts until the Watcher has given this license, else he will Devour thee. He cares not what he watches, only that he obey the priest!

RECIPE FROM THE NECRONOMICONthe name of the