Yar, Do ye want her to shiver your timbers and blow you down? Ya want her to walk yer plank? Are ye looking for a good "First Mate?" Or are ye just tired of spending each night flogging the cabin boy? Well then Matey, thar be only a few things to remember in order to dig up her burried treasure!

1) Women don't appreciate being called, "Hoes or Bitches" they like more affectionate pet names like, "Lassies or Whores."

2) Women have lot's of love spots, the lips, the tip of the earlobe, the neck... and I'm sure ya can guess the rest. ARRRRRR! The only problem is they aren't consistent, trial and error is the only way I can figure you can find all her ummm "points of interest." And if yer really having trouble... ask her for a topographic map of her body to follow, hell she may already have one prepared

(Guys, by the way, just need a big arrow on their chest pointing down)

3)Women like suprises. No I don't mean those, Jerry Springer type, "Look I've stuffed your sister like a Thanksgiving Turkey," suprises. I mean a romantisizing suprise. Being kissed without warning is like being sucker punched (but in a good way) What woman would go out with a guy who telegraphed all his devious schemes that I'm sure all of you have. "Darling, I'm feeling very romantic (horny) now. Don't be surprised if I soon press my lips against yours in a fit of unbridled passion." Lassies don't like that.

Cont.